Sad Day
I went to a funeral yesterday.
Rebecca's aunt L died after years of generally poor health, and months of very ill health. She was 63.
I was very fond of Aunt L and remain so of her husband, Uncle S.
R and I decided that taking L and Rr to the funeral was impracticable (8 hours in the car, round trip) and inappropriate, given the odds that the baby would misbehave while short on food and sleep, and the likelihood that the toddler would be upset by the proceedings.
So I went up and back in the course of the day, with some other local relatives.
This was the first actual funeral I've been to. My grandparents all died after we moved to the States, and getting four people back to Scotland -- on very short notice in two cases -- was never practicable. R's paternal grandparents both died since I have been on the scene, but were cremated prior to memorial services.
It was also the first Jewish funeral I have been to. I was struck by the fact that there's no shying away from the pain of the living; it's fully acknowledged at the same time that the deceased is fondly remembered.
R's cousins had some moving things to say about their mother, but it was hardest watching Uncle S walk in to the service and just gently touch the casket. He and Aunt L had been married for 40 years and were entirely devoted to each other. It was heartbreaking.
I can also tell you that I don't want to hear the sound of earth hitting a casket again, any time soon.
Rebecca's aunt L died after years of generally poor health, and months of very ill health. She was 63.
I was very fond of Aunt L and remain so of her husband, Uncle S.
R and I decided that taking L and Rr to the funeral was impracticable (8 hours in the car, round trip) and inappropriate, given the odds that the baby would misbehave while short on food and sleep, and the likelihood that the toddler would be upset by the proceedings.
So I went up and back in the course of the day, with some other local relatives.
This was the first actual funeral I've been to. My grandparents all died after we moved to the States, and getting four people back to Scotland -- on very short notice in two cases -- was never practicable. R's paternal grandparents both died since I have been on the scene, but were cremated prior to memorial services.
It was also the first Jewish funeral I have been to. I was struck by the fact that there's no shying away from the pain of the living; it's fully acknowledged at the same time that the deceased is fondly remembered.
R's cousins had some moving things to say about their mother, but it was hardest watching Uncle S walk in to the service and just gently touch the casket. He and Aunt L had been married for 40 years and were entirely devoted to each other. It was heartbreaking.
I can also tell you that I don't want to hear the sound of earth hitting a casket again, any time soon.
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